BIG ASS CADILLAC

Move on over to a Big Ass Cadillac.

Mothers and Fathers attention … please.

If you’re trying to find your son or daughter a great career then consider the art of boilsucking. (George Clooney plays the part of a boilsucker in Up in the Air.)

In the last decade, I was a certified, as well as a very professional boilsucker.

It was easy and lucrative and I got to play a lot of golf. For the most part my services were appreciated, although the profession was under the eye of the government and there was a lot of compliance work.

It was at one of these here conventions out in Vegas that I saw my first Elvis impersonators….. and my life has never been the same, “baby”.
I won prizes and attend conventions like the Best B-suckers Bash.
Elvis impersonator Duane was so bad and very entertaining combined. He made me and everybody in his presence feel good about themselves. Right then and there I decided to be the best Elvis like entertainer ever, “thank you so much everybody you been so kind”.

So I went to Graceland. I listen, watched, and read everything about the King of Rock and Roll. My wardrobe of white silk and sequins was the envy of everyone in the business. My only problem was get’n gigs. No one, not anybody really appreciated my performances except Lola. More on Lola later.

So, to make a long and wonderful story short, I went back to being a boilsucker and I was a good one.

I make a lot of money and things, and I drive a Big Ass Cadillac.

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